You may have noticed that in the times we live there is a movement to accept everybody for what they are. A good idea, but it is flawed oh so flawed; more so than a worthless diamond.
It is so because as a species we are wired to ‘judge’ others. The wiring probably comes from when we needed to make a quick judgement on whether a stranger was a danger or not.
Now it is whether they align to our stereotypes and social group or not. Examples could be racism (from any ethnic group to another), sexuality as in homophobia, religious, how a person dresses, how they speak, even the area they are from. All these and more shape our perception of a person. Doesn’t matter if we are right or not. We judge and treat them accordingly.
This perfectly normal but it is not desirable because we may make the wrong decision. Just because a group of youths are hanging out on the streets may not be up to no good. They may just be meeting up. Same as the job candidate that is scruffy and arrogant may be the best person for the job.
We change this by dropping and ignoring our preconceived ideas of what people are like. It takes a while and it takes effort but it is possible. From personal experience when I was a charity fundraiser some of the people that went on to donate for a long time were, at first sight, those you would have thought would not donate.
The best way that I found not to form first impressions is to ask questions when you speak to them and show a genuine interest in them. Smiling helps as well. A smile instantly starts to builds trust. Even if writing do it in a happy mood and be open to explaining fully. This helps to relax people and lowers their guard so first impressions take longer to form. The longer it takes to form an impression the better placed you are to build a good impression.
In all my efforts I try and foster the impression that I am a helpful and knowledgeable person, which I am. I also show a lot of passion and intensity for my purpose of helping you. A lot more detail on how to create fantastic first impressions and a positive impact is in coached in ‘The Inner Circle’ my private coaching course of how to build the skills needed to rocket you to your goals. Find out more about it here…